Dear Tess,
I’VE got to be the luckiest fella alive because I’ve just had a sizzling threesome with a pair of lesbians.
They work in my office and I’ve always fancied them. But because they’re dykes I never thought I’d end up in the sack with them. However, my dream came true after the three of us went for a drink after work one evening. We were having a bit of a laugh and I asked if they’d ever been with a man. They said they had and added that occasionally they still enjoyed a romp with a man. I half-jokingly offered my services to them and to my surprise and delight they looked at each other and told me ‘OK’. I got an instant hard-on just thinking about it and by the time we reached their flat I was aching to get started. They took me to their bedroom and sat me in a chair before stripping each other off.
Shaven
Then they laid on the bed and began kissing and caressing each other’s tits before moving down to their shaven pussies. They took it in turns to push their fingers in and out of each other’s fannies and then rubbed furiously at their clits – bringing each other to the verge of orgasm. As they got in to the 69 position and began lapping at each other, I stood and pulled off my pants. The girls were moaning and groaning as they sucked on each other’s c***s until they both came to a noisy climax. Then one of them reached out and gripped my cock and pulled me on to the bed where they then took turns to suck me off and I soon felt my balls were ready to explode.
Nipples
One of them then climbed on top of me and guided my rod deep into her crack as her pal sucked on her pierced nipples. I was in absolute heaven and when the girl by my side moved herself round a bit, so that her fanny was mere inches from my mouth – and I almost passed out! So I lifted my head and began licking her out as the girls snogged each other. It was nice to tongue her hairless slot and I darted and flicked in and out of her as well as nibbling and sucking on her engorged clit. Then my whole body shook as I pulled out and I shot my hot spunk over their kissing faces. I lay exhausted as the girls snuggled up together and the whole incredible routine soon started over again. I shagged them both twice before going home.
I’d love to do it again but the girls have declined because they’ve had their bit of “bloke fun” for a while and only want to screw each other now. Is there anything I can I do to change their minds?
GF, Staffs
Tess says: ABSOLUTELY nothing. Just be glad that you managed it once.
Dear Tess,
I HAD no clean undies to wear the other day so put on a pair of the wife’s knickers as an emergency measure.
I thought no more about it until I had to get changed to play football after work – and I got a load of stick from my mates. How can I convince them that I’m not on the turn?
FS, Bucks
Tess says: TALK in a deep voice and get some more Y-fronts as soon as possible!
Hotel stranger asked me to whip her arse!
Dear Tess,
I’VE just got back from a lads’ holiday in Prague and we got off to a flying start when we hit the airport bar.
We got well stuck in and noticed a group of girls also leathering it at the other end of the bar. They kept giving us the eye but I must say that sex was the furthest thing from my mind as I’d left the missus in a bit of a mood just by announcing I was going off with my mates for a booze-up. She’d been pretty hot in bed recently and it was a bit of a wrench to leave her. But seeing these birds at the bar made me think that a bit of extra nookie would go down well, considering I’d been faithful to my girl from the day we met. We found ourselves at the same hotel as the girls we saw at the airport and I was delighted when one of them – a hot brunette with a top figure – sidled up to me after dinner and asked if I’d like to go with her to a club she’d found. I was game and she led me down the back streets to a downstairs bar.
On stage was a couple doing live sex in S&M gear and I had a raging hard-on within seconds, while the brunette from our hotel had her hand down her pants, fingering herself! I couldn’t wait to get her back to the hotel and we quickly went to her room where she peeled off to reveal a leather peep-hole bra and matching pants. Then out of her suitcase she produced a small leather whip and asked me to gently whack her with it on her lovely bum. We stripped for action but I bottled at using the whip at the last minute. We still had a great time though, as she bent over the sofa to let me I ram her from behind. Now I can’t stop wondering what the whip thing might have been like. Should I have tried it out?
EW, West Sussex
Tess says: ASK your missus if she fancies a bit of slap and tickle – you both might like it!
Dear Tess,
I PICKED a woman up in the pub last weekend and we went back to mine for wild sex.
And in the morning she insisted on making me breakfast! She cooked some sausages and brought them on a tray with ketchup and bread. While I was scoffing, she smothered my knob in ketchup and gobbled me off. Is that normal?
TW, Dorset
Tess says: THAT really is a full English!
Dear Tess,
THE other day I was sitting in my local pub having a quiet pint by myself when a nice blonde woman in her 40s came in.
We made instant eye-contact and she came and sat next to me with her drink. And after a few tipples I asked if she wanted to go back to my house for a drink. She was a little nervous at first, in case her husband found out, but after a couple more drinks she agreed. Once in the house she was a complete nympho and soon had my trousers down and her lips round my cock. After she had finished I lifted her skirt to reveal black stockings and tiny black panties which I pulled to one side and began to lick her clit. Soon I had her climaxing and she was screaming for me to give her one before she climaxed a second time.
Then we undressed fully and shagged for the next three hours. The other night I was in same the pub again when she came in and sat next to me. She was soon fondling my manhood through my trousers and she whispered that she wanted me to make her come. So we went to the toilets and had a quick shag. Now she says she wants to move in with me. But I don’t really fancy her and I’m scared of her hubby. What should I do?
PL, Bolton
Tess says: FIND a new boozer.
Dear Tess,
I’M a 22-year-old single girl and I’ve never had much luck with the fellas.
And I was actually a virgin until just a couple of weeks ago, when I first went to my local gym. I just got up one morning and decided there and then to go and sign up for a month, just to see if I liked it or not. I walked in and met a hunky guy at the reception who took me into the gym to show me the equipment. Little did I know that he would be showing me his own equipment later! I spent an hour with him and then he invited me into the little cafe section for a coffee and we got flirting. Then he just came out and told me that he wanted to make love to me. Although I was shocked, I said I’d like that and he lead me to an office at the back of the reception area.
He locked the door, grabbed me and lay me on the desk. Then he lifted my skirt and tugged my panties down and after gently parting my legs, he began to lick me out. He gave me oral for a while and then stood up and dropped his trousers and that’s when I first saw his massive cock. So I closed my eyes as he entered me, then I told him to stop. When I explained I was a virgin he seemed amazed. But he told me he’d be very gentle.
It was brilliant feeling him inside me and he gave me an orgasm before he withdrew and spunked his warm stuff over my tummy. Now we make love every time we meet and he’s even asked if he can take me up the arse as well. Do you think I should?
TG, Gloucestershire