By SIMON DEAN
COLD-HEARTED camel-shaggers from the twisted Taliban launched a sensational plot to lure randy Prince Harry into captivity – using Afghanistan’s BIGGEST boobs.
Bearded loons from the ultra-bonkers Islamic group reckoned the red-blooded 27-year-old would not be able to resist saucy Kabul babe Almira Sahar’s 36FF charms. Even before Friday’s attack on Harry’s Camp Bastion base, warlords made plans to swoop on the Prince and take him hostage as he got to grips with the 34-year-old’s whoppers of mass destruction. But the madmen fell foul of Sunday Sport’s UNRIVALLED contacts in the region. Because when we got wind of the plot to kidnap our bravest Royal, we called in the cavalry and the plot was SMASHED.
Our contact called us last week just hours after top Taliban commanders vowed to kidnap Harry “at any cost”. We were told the Taliban had read all about Harry’s naked Las Vegas antics last month and concluded his “Achilles heel” was pretty ladies.
Commanders recruited Almira – famous as the only Afghan topless model who has NOT been executed – to seduce Harry outside his Helmand base. Our mole told us: “I don’t really think they’d thought it through. Harry lives in a heavily guarded compound and you can’t just walk up to him. “Maybe they were going to disguise this Almira in a burka or something. You know what them Taliban are like – they get an idea and they are off…” Seeing a clear and present danger to our beloved Prince, Sunday Sport reported the plot to the authorities. Within hours, a US drone attack had killed the plotters along with, unfortunately, some bystanders and a goat.
It is not known if Almira was hurt in the attack. Evil Taliban boss Maulvi Ahmadullah Ahmadyar has welcomed the return of Apache helicopter pilot Harry to Afghanistan. Wizened Ahmadyar – who sports several sinister gold teeth and a menacing glass eye – hissed: “It’s good news for us as we are always in search for such precious birds. “Our priority is to kidnap him at any cost as we have informers at the military base used by British troops in Helmand. “And if we don’t succeed, then we would like to eliminate him through our Afghan friends working with British troops.” Two US marines were killed in Friday’s attack on the base at Camp Bastion, where Harry is stationed.