Irish twins blamed for massacre of 17 Afghans
By SIMON DEAN
SEVENTEEN people beheaded by Taliban nutjobs for attending a mixed-sex dancing party were strutting their stuff to JEDWARD, we can reveal. The massacre, in Afghanistan’s Helmand region, shocked the world and demonstrates the beard-wearing Taliban are still bent on using violence to impose their warped Stone Age values.
However, the shock was lessened somewhat when it emerged the two women and 15 men at the dubious celebration in the Musa Qala district were dancing and singing along to a Planet Jedward CD. District government chief Neyamatullah Khan said earlier last week that the Taliban slaughtered the partygoers to show their disapproval of the event. But on hearing that the Irish Grimes twins’ music was invo lved in the unholy bacchanale, Khan gasped: “Aieee! That pair from your Eurovision? I would have beheaded them myself if I had known these people were cavorting to that racket. “We are trying to build a new Afghanistan here. How can we do that when people are hurling their bodies around to the music – and I used the word loosely – of that pair of freaks?”
Haji Musa Khan, a tribal elder, said the region had seen a surge in such killings in recent months. “We had three people beheaded during the month of Ramadan. “Another person, the son of a tribal elder, was beheaded recently,” he said. He added: “But if people are going to jiggle around to Jedward, they are getting all they bloody well deserve, insha’Allah.” Many Afghans as well as international observers have expressed worries that the Taliban’s brutal interpretation of Islamic justice will return as UK and other international forces withdraw. Under the Taliban, who ruled the country from 1996 to 2001, all music, film and female education was banned as un-Islamic.