By JUSTIN DUNN
EVER wondered who invented the first vibrator? Or whether women can have an orgasm just by playing with their boobs? Our researchers have spent weeks finding out amazing facts about everyone’s favourite subject – SEX. Read on to find out about male multiple orgasms, the truth about the average knob size and the technical term for crazy women who want sex with locked-up murderers!
1. SEX can relieve a headache. It releases tension restricting blood vessels in the brain. Tell the missus!
2. ALMOST half of adult women in the UK – 45% – have tried bum fun.
3. BLOWJOBS are technically illegal in Malaysia with punishment of up to 20 years’ jail AND whipping.
4. FRUIT bats have been seen to indulge in oral sex in the wild.
5. REGULAR wanking can help relieve depression.
6. THE world’s biggest willy is 13.5 inches belonging to American Jonah Falcon.
7. THE black widow spider – which EATS her mate after sex – can consume up to 20 partners a day.
8. THREE-quarters of fellas always climax during regular sex as against just a quarter of women.
9. ALMOST a third of women over 80 are still bonking their partners.
10. TWO-thirds of women have taken part in online sex.
11. ONE in four search engine requests are for porn
12. SMALLER flaccid knobs have a greater percentage increase when erect than larger ones.
13. VICTORIAN doctors used to fiddle women patients to orgasm to cure them of “female hysteria”. (See also 14).
14. DOCTOR George Taylor invented the first steam-powered vibrator in 1869 in order to stop fellow medics getting tired fingers when treating women!
15. ONE per cent of women can reach orgasm just by playing with their boobs.
16. THE average length of sex is just 15 fifteen minutes – and that includes 10 to 12 minutes of FOREPLAY. So it’s not just us, then…
17. IT’S not just naughty bits and boobs that swell during sex. So does the inner nose, to help get more oxygen into the blood.
18. JUST over 60% of men get erect nipples during sex.
19. THE only other species to have sex for fun as well as reproducing are dolphins and bonobo chimpanzees.
20. THE new World Record holder and winner of “Longest Time Spent Masturbating/Male” is Sonny Nash, who on May 27 this year pleasured himself non-stop for 10 hrs 10 mins at the World Mast-U-Bate-Athon in San Francisco.
21. UNDER a 17th Century Puritan law in New Haven, Connecticut, anyone found wanking can be sentenced to death.
22. SINCE the first recorded case in 1609 in Bologna, Italy, there have been a further 80 discoveries of men with two penises.
23. MEN can have multiple orgasms. To have one, your first orgasm must take place without ejaculation and without losing your stiffy. Somehow.
24. SEVENTY per cent of men aged 18 to 34 visit a porn site at least once a month.
25. THIRTY per cent of women have had a LESBIAN experience.
26. AROUND 400 million people every day will have sex.
27. GREEKS have more sex than anyone, on average 138 times a year. Japanese are the lowest at 45 times. (See also 28.)
28. BUT 75% of Japanese women own a vibrator, as against 47% for the worldwide average.
29. ONE in five women will tell a mate about having sex with you within a week of it happening. And naturally then go absolutely berserk if she finds out you’ve done the same.
30. ALMOST one in three Australians say they’ve had a threesome.
31. THE average erection is 5.5 inches long. Thankfully.
32. ITHYPHALLOPHOBIA is the term given for fear of an erect penis.
33. THE world’s biggest recorded penis was a killer whale’s eightfoot whopper.
34. ONE in four people will be thinking about sex at any time of the day.
35. PORN websites outstrip nonporn websites by a staggering five to one.
36. MOST men under the age of 40 can get an erection in under ten seconds.
37. ONE in four men has a stiffy that bends slightly.
38. MAD women who write offering marriage to caged murders have “hybristophilia” – meaning they can only achieve orgasm with someone who’s committed an outrage.
39. A WOMAN who performs oral sex on a man is technically known as a “fellatrix”.
40. THE average men’s erection needs two tablespoons of blood to get fully stiff.
41. ANCIENT Egyptians used to use dry crocodile poo as contraceptive – it actually worked.
42. WOMEN with large eye pupils are more attractive to men.
43. ONE in four blokes will turn the lights off before sex.
44. ONE in fifty people are members of the Mile High Club.
45. THE act of thrusting of the penis between the legs, breasts, feet or upper thighs is known as irrumatio and was very popular with the Romans.
46. IT’S illegal in Bolivia for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.
47. THERE are 8,000 nerve endings in the clitoris – twice as many for a penis.
48. PRECISELY 34% men have lied to get women into bed.
49. FOUR out of ten women like looking at pictures of other women in the buff.
50. A WOMAN’S vagina will contract by 30% as she approaches orgasm.
51. THE French call it “La Petit Mort”, meaning “the little death”. We call it “falling asleep after sex”.
52. 61% of women find the mere idea of buying a sex toy a turn-on.
53. FOR the average healthy man there is a staggering 300 million sperm in just a teaspoon of semen.
54. SPERM contains proteins that have the same anti-wrinkle effect as your moisturiser, which tighten skin and give an instant face lift. Honest.
55. 75% of women either want to have sex with a fireman or get their fella to dress up as one.
56. THE inventor of cornflakes, John Harvey Kellogg, was an anti-masturbation campaigner. He also liked yoghurt enemas.
57. BLOKES have an average of 11 erections a day.
58. SEX releases natural antihistamines helping to soothe hay fever and asthma.
59. 94% of men lie about the size of their knob.
60. JUST 6% of fellas need an extra-large condom.
61. SPERM travels at an average 28mph on orgasm.
62. BALLS increase in size by 50% when a man is sexually aroused.
63. 15% of adults have had sexual intercourse at work.
64. THE average driver will have sex in their car six times during their lifetime.
65. ONE in three woman SWALLOWS during oral sex.
66. A MAN’S beard grows quicker if he thinks he’s going to have sex.
67. DURING the 1920s it was believed jazz music caused you to lose sexual inhibitions and was banned in many cities.
68. THE more sex you have, the more you’ll get. A sexually active body gives off greater quantities of pheromones, our natural “sex perfume”.
69. THE term “blow job” comes from the Victorian times, when a slang term for a hooker was a “blowsy”.