IN case you didn’t know, I’m “on the brink”…of being FITTER than ever!
You might have seen The Sun’s front page story about me being “on the brink” and looking “worse for wear” in Dubai last week. All I can say is that it must have been a VERY f***ing slow news day!
If you read the story, there’s no mention of me touching a drop of booze – because I didn’t! All they are basing it on is a few sketchy photos of me looking knackered.
So here’s what really happened.
After spending a week with my folks in Newcastle, I flew 3,000 miles to Dubai, went straight to the gym and then gave a talk at an event before playing pool with fans. I hadn’t slept much so I had a nap in a chair in the 120 degree heat.
And some prick – who I thrashed at pool for £1,500 – must’ve been that desperate to make his money back he decided to sell his pics to The Sun. Cheers for that!
So the headline should have been “JET-LAGGED BLOKE FALLS ASLEEP IN THE SUN ON HOLIDAY”. But then I suppose that wouldn’t sell papers. The Sun also ran a story saying I was going to die from drinking too much Red Bull. To set the record straight, I hadn’t had a Red Bull for six years – the caffeine isn’t any good for us. But it was hot and I was sick of coffee after drinking the stuff for 19 months.
So I had a couple of cans to keep me going after the flight. So am I drinking too many soft drinks – or boozing again? I wish they’d make their f***ing minds up! I had a top time in Newcastle and in Dubai and I didn’t touch I’ve never done anything to The Sun but they seem to have it in for me.
But it’ll take more than a load of rubbish like that to keep me down. At least I know I can trust one newspaper – the good old Sunday Sport!
STUART Pearce knows his stuff but leaving David Beckham out of Team GB is a mistake. I would have taken Becks to Euro 2012 AND the Olympics because he’s still a great player and an inspirational fella as well. He has a positive influence on whoever he meets. And if you stick near David, there’s usually plenty of fit women knocking about too!
My whole lotta love for Italians
I’M chuffed that Italy beat Germany to make the final of Euro 2012. After spending four years at Lazio, I’ll always have a soft spot for the Italian people. I had a top relationship with the Lazio fans. A few years back, I went to Italy on holiday and I drove into the countryside and went into this tiny café, and the boss recognised us. He said: “Are you Paul Gascoigne?” I really didn’t want any attention, so I said: “Nah, sorry mate. I’m just a lookalike.” But he went and pulled a picture of us off his wall! And within 45 minutes there were about 6,000 fans outside this café in the middle of nowhere. I spent five hours signing autographs and shaking hands – it was great. After that, I knew that if I ever went back there they’d still go crazy for us. The president of Lazio even invited us back to lift the trophy with the team! If I’m completely honest, it’s always nice seeing the Germans get beat!
I’VE not had the best week, but it’s been even worse for the banks. Problems with RBS and Natwest systems stopped people getting paid their wages. Then Barclays boss Bob Diamond was fined for fiddling the lending rate between banks. Does any bank ever make a mistake that works in the customers’ favour?
I CAN’T believe the Queen has shaken hands with former IRA commander Martin McGuinness. It’s great to see them burying the hatchet like, but this means I’m scarier than a bloke whose organisation killed thousands of people. When I won the FA Cup with Spurs, I gave Princess Diana a cheeky kiss at the end. The Queen was so scared of getting a smacker as well she banned us from going to Buckingham Palace!
THINGS are so bad in this country that even our dogs are depressed. But at least they’ll be able to get their paws on Prozac-style anti-depressants by the end of the year. Which is good news for my dad’s pet pooch, Maggie. When Newcastle are on the telly, she sits on his lap. But every time something happens in the game my old man jumps up and gives her a slap by accident. Maggie’s wise to it now and hides behind the sofa when the Toon are on, but I’ll get her some doggie Prozac to calm her down! I hope she’s not “on the brink” – like me!
IT’LL be great if the Spice Girls get back together for a concert this year. They were always a good luck charm for the England team in the 1990s. I remember once, we were on the team coach and we were all singing, “If you wanna be my lover,” to David Beckham. I think it was his debut and we won 3-0! Maybe the England lads should have had a sing-a-long to that before their game against Italy!
NOT many women look FIT dressed as a witch – but Angelina Jolie isn’t just any woman! I’ve seen set pics of her from new film Malficent in England and she looks great. She’s one of my favourite actresses, so I couldn’t believe it when I met her a few weeks ago. She looked even more stunning in the flesh! I said to her: “Excuse me, could I have a quick photo,” but she couldn’t because she had her kid with her and I respect that. I think I’m in the same league as hubby Brad Pitt like, when it comes to looks!
Sing it loud…we’re English and proud!
I WAS gutted to see England knocked out of Euro 2012 but not surprised. But one thing that made me proud was every member of the team singing the National Anthem. And Roy Hodgson deserves credit for making that happen…well done, Roy! When we faced Moldova once, they didn’t have the National Anthem to play. But Ian Wright said we should still sing. We followed his lead and belted it out without any music. It may have sounded awful but it showed what top team spirit we had.