MAN HAS 14 BABYBEL UP HIS BUM!



By SIMON DEAN

ONE patient striking doctors could NOT ignore last week was a man who pitched up at A&E with FOURTEEN Babybel cheeses – UP HIS ARSE!

The miniature dairy products – invented in 1931 by Frenchman Leon Bel – are a firm favourite in millions of British lunchboxes. But one kink-seeker decided to put the UK’s best-selling mini-cheese product to a different use – by shoving them up his BACK BOX. And the 31-year-old from Sale, Cheshire, soon found that Babybels – a high point of many a summer picnic – DON’T belong where the sun don’t shine.

The patient, who cannot be named for reasons of medical confidentiality, turned up at South Central Manchester College Infirmary “in some discomfort”. A source at the hospital – where 10 per cent of doctors took part in last Thursday’s 24-hour strike action – told Sunday Sport: “We’ve had patients coming in here with all sorts up their arses over the years.

Haddock

“Sex toys, spoons, bottles, jam jars…even a frozen haddock once. “But this is the first time we have seen mini-cheeses up a patient’s poo-pipe. “We took an x-ray to see what the situation was and happily advised the patient that the blockage would soon clear itself naturally.”

The source added, with tears of mirth cascading down his ruddy face: “Technically, with that waxy coating, Babybels would be quite safe to eat after they’ve been up someone’s arse. “I wouldn’t fancy it myself, mind!”

A spokeswoman for manufacturer Bel UK – who make a BILLION Babybels every year, said: “In 11 years working for the company I have never heard of anything like this. “It is outrageous that anyone would do this. Nothing we have done or said would have encouraged someone to do something like this.

“Thank you for bringing this to our attention. “The main thing is that this person is now alright and you would hope that the discomfort will dissuade him from doing something like this again.”

 

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