SOMETHING’S ripening down Kidderminster
way and, for once, it ain’t
GOONHILLY LARSON’S underpants!
No, I’m told that things are looking
sweet for NATTERJACK CAUSEWAY
chanteuse DOLLY SPRAIN and THE
HOOGLES hunk DANNY LIVERISH!
The pair met at the WORCESTERSHIRE
BOILING
FAIR and I’m told
that Danny’s, er,
problems (or his tag)
are trifles the
loved-up couple are
“looking forward to
overcoming”.
COULD it be the first new release in 10 years from former
THAT STINGS frontman
GARRY COSSETS?
Garry, ex of nineties gallegend
RIPPY HIGHMAN, has been in the studio with the
legendary producer LEMMY
COHEN-AZIZ after starting
writing again following some
inspiration from DUNTY
JOOP!There’s a hill to climb, though. Spies tell me the
sounds coming from the studio
resemble “an
over-tired toddler with colic annoying
his hungover
lush-mum”!
FILMING has finally started on
JULIAN FFYSTE’S new movie THE
GEOGRAPHY MASTER, I’m reliably
informed.
The film’s been put on hold
because Julian’s real-life former
geography master DEREK TALON
threatened to take legal action when
he heard about the
“apple bobbing”
scene.
Now the lawyers
have found a way
through – and
meanwhile THE
POLICE are taking an
interest in what went
on at ST JOSIAH’S
MIDDLE SCHOOL in
the mid-eighties!
BIG problems for folkster
DIRTY CREVICE who has got
himself double-booked next
weekend!Dirty – real name TARQUIN
MALFEASANCE – is due to
play at the MIDDLEWICH
TIDDLE FESTIVAL at 2pm.
But he’s due in Crewe at 4pm
for tea with his AUNTIE
JOAN!After a one-hour set, that leaves him just
60 short minutes to get
to Joan’s…and you know what
the buses are
like on a Saturday!
SOCIALIST singer NERFY RULE could
be in big trouble – with the UNITED
NATIONS!
Nerfy, whose “man of the people”
credentials are second to none (he
even buys his own milk), is the UN’s
special ambassador for little
crying orphans. But who was
found by a BOING! TV NEWS
SPECIAL team stitching
t-shirts for Nerfy’s SMASH
THE OLIGRARCHS tour? Little
orphans, that’s who! And how
those tots were sobbing!