Dear Vikki,
I’M a fisherman and I like nothing more than to spend my spare time dunking my bait into the great lakes of England.
I work hard and enjoy my down time massively and so you could say that I was very content with life. About a month ago, I found myself propped up at the bar of a lovely pub in my area. I was enjoying my pint when a very foxy tall blonde appeared next to me asking the bar maid for a red wine. She was classy looking, not slutty, wearing a black skirt that hung just above the knee with a little split down one side.
I could see she had stockings on underneath which really got me twitching. I offered to buy her a drink, which she accepted and we started talking and got on like a house on fire. She told me she was a PA to a haulage boss, loved reading, keeping fit and meals out to nice restaurants. I was dead pleased as she seemed like the woman of my dreams, especially when her gorgeous thigh became exposed revealing that she took her exercise very seriously. Things progressed quickly and we soon started sharing a bed regularly. She was wonderful. She really made an effort with the lingerie displaying a lovely collection of silky outfits which really looked good on her and felt great to the touch.
She indulged my fetish for suspenders coupled with sexy heels which get me so horny every time. You could say life had got just about perfect. As things settled, I invited my darling fishing with me, as I had spent too long away from the sport and was getting withdrawals. She accepted the invitation willingly, to my surprise, which has not been the case with other girls in the past. I set up our tent on one of the beauty spots of my favourite lakes and created a home away from home for us. We spent the night talking, drinking red wine by candlelight whilst my rod kept going. I didn’t think things could get better than that – and I was right. The morning came and my girl wasn’t in the bed chair next to me.
I heard some splashing going on and looked out of the bivvy to see her in the lake with her pussy and boobs out whilst splashing water on herself and rubbing a bar of soap over her naked body. I looked up and saw fisherman from every direction staring through binoculars. I couldn’t believe it as I knew them all! I told her to get dressed immediately. I packed all my equipment up whilst she waited in the van and got out of there. I am mortified, Vikki. I can’t go back and have been avoiding the phone. My fishing is my first love and I can’t figure out how to weather the storm.
Brian, Oxford
Dear Brian,
IT sounds to me like your fishing repertoire is the issue above anything. Take it from someone who knows; be bold and act like you find her actions hilarious. It will be a talking point for a long time. If you can’t beat em, join em!
Elvis lookalike left me all shook up
Dear Vikki,
I’VE just split up my boyfriend of five years and I’m absolutely devastated.
He’s an Elvis Presley impersonator, appearing in pubs and clubs. He looks like the King did in his heyday – not the burgermunching version. We met when he doing a gig at my local. We got on like a house on fire and when he offered me a lift home I jumped at the chance.
I invited him for a drink and before long we were kissing and cuddling on the sofa. I was in heaven as he played with my nipples and then he we stripped for action. He had a great body and a stunning six pack. He also had an impressive penis – he was a good eight inches and it was pretty thick, too. And boy, did he know how to use that weapon of his. As soon as he had inside me, thrusting like Elvis, I had a screaming orgasm. Then he showed me his oral technique. He gently flicked his tongue over my swollen clit and thrust it in and out of my fanny – bringing me to another shuddering climax. After that I went down on him and his pork sword tasted fantastic.
I teased the tip with licks and nibbles, bringing him to the verge of ejaculation. Then I stopped and spread my legs and guided him back inside my throbbing pussy. We both came very quickly and lay in a sweaty mess on the floor. Things moved on very quickly over the next few weeks. He moved in with me and I used to accompany him to all his gigs before having a great shag when we got home. But two weeks ago he rang to say he’d met someone else and it was all over. I begged and begged him to change his mind and said we’d just put the other woman behind us. But he said no, it’s over and he won’t budge. I’m devastated – what should I do?
Dawn, Kettering
Dear Dawn,
YOU must be all shook up. Forget about him and move on, but remember the golden rule with relationships – only fools rush in! Seriously though, would you even want him back now you know he’s been with someone else? The best thing you can do is to climb back on that horse and have a bit of no-ties fun. Don’t let this rat ruin your view of life. Use it an opportunity to taste a few more of life’s courses!
Dear Vikki,
I FANCY my best mate’s boyfriend and I don’t know what to do.
We’ve been good friends for five years now but I’ve only got close to her over the last year. We have a right laugh and tell each other everything, well almost everything. She’s been with her man for eight years, very on and off – but nowadays it’s more on. He’s about five foot ten with long dead straight, thick, dark hair, brown eyes and a muscular body. My mate is always telling me how he is obsessed with shagging her and loves nothing better than to strip her butt naked and tease her pussy for ages before bringing her to orgasmic heights with his manhood.
What she doesn’t realise is that when she’s divulging all the intimate details of his magnificent appetite for sex that I’m going home at night, switching on my biggest vibrator and making myself come thinking only about being in her shoes and indulging in all sorts of positions with her man. I really want to tell him how I feel, Vikki – but in my heart I feel very guilty to my mate as she trusts me. What do I do?
Melissa, Reading.