I’M a mobile hairdresser and most of the week I go round to other people’s houses or they sometimes visit me.
I have built my business up over the last three years – after I was made redundant – and I’m proud of having a good list of reliable clients. One wealthy male customer begged to take me out but I kept putting him off because, although I fancied him, I knew he had a steady girlfriend. He made an appointment a few weeks ago and I went round to his house and found a note on the door which said to go straight in. Inside, I found an envelope on the hallway table with my name on it and another note that said: “Come upstairs and f*** me and all this can be yours.” There was £1,000 in cash in the envelope and I really needed the money so I thought to myself, well why the hell not?
My heart was pounding as I climbed the stairs and pushed open a bedroom door. He was lying on the bed wearing nothing but a grin so I stripped down to my undies and walked over to him. Then I knelt on the floor by the side of the bed and took his impressive penis in my hands. I leaned forward and took the tip between my lips – licking and shaft to the back of my throat. I sucked him slowly at first, then faster as he got really hard and I could feel the pressure building up in his balls. So just before he was about to come I pulled my head away. He was an experienced lover and he knew that was his cue to go to work on me.
He pulled me onto the bed, kissing me all over until he reached my aching pussy. My client then used his fingers and tongue on my clit before getting on top of me and sliding his cock deep inside me. It was one of the best orgasms I’d had for a very long time. We have repeated this several times since, getting more and more erotic and adventurous in our sex games. But when we were last together he asked me to bring a girlfriend with me the next time for a threesome.
I was shocked but not wanting to upset him, I said OK. But I’ve been thinking about it and I don’t know whether I can do it with another woman. Like most females I have had fantasies about a lesbian fling and I know a few willing friends.
Can you help me to make up my mind please?
GS, East Yorkshire
Stevie says: NOT really. You’re the only one who can decide, sorry. All I would say is don’t knock it until you’ve tried it and stay open-minded
I’M a 19-year-old student and I’ve been working part-time at a service station near my parents’ home.
Recently I copped off with one of the full-time staff, a lovely bubbly blonde. We’ve done all sorts – shagging down the park and while reading porn mags. She’s a shaven raver and loves to put on sexy shows for me – sometimes with sex toys too. As we can’t get much privacy at my home and her parents are splitting up, she rented a flat. We had a party when she moved in and her mum came around.
She’s a right tart and she proved it by being all over the lads. She went out back with some of them and they told me she’d given them each a gobble and swallowed. We’d all had a lot to drink and my girl slipped off to bed leaving her mum fondling the cock of one of my mates. She winked at me and pulled up her top so I could get a grip. I started sucking on her tits and then she yanked down my pants and started to give me a blow job while my pal rode her from behind. Her daughter doesn’t know what happened but I’m scared she’ll find out and hit the roof – with both me and her mam.
What should I do?
RT, South Yorks
Stevie says: DENY everything – because your girl won’t want to believe it of her own mother.
I’VE got odd-shaped balls and my left one is about twice the size of the other.
The doctor told me I am OK and there’s nothing wrong. It’s just that some women find them a turn-off and I find it difficult to keep a girlfriend.
What can I do?
Stevie says: FIND a girl who enjoys rugby – she’ll love ‘em!
Fat chance of fun with tubby swingers’ club
MY wife and I have been talking about joining a swingers’ club for ages. Searching on the internet I recently made contact with a local organisation.
The pictures of the women looked great and we arranged a date when we could start swinging. We went to a party at the home of the club’s chairman and straight away I noticed the women there were all ugly or fat. I asked him about the women I had seen on their website and he said they had all been former members. I began to get worried, especially when an old bird started to eye me up.
My wife, however, seemed to be enjoying herself and I watched as she disappeared upstairs with the chairman. A fat lady, who turned out to be his wife, then led me upstairs too. When she stripped off to reveal her five bellies I felt physically sick. She then took out her false teeth, sucked my knob until I was just semi-hard and then rode me. Afterwards I escaped to find my wife and watched as the chairman gave her a scuttling. I never want to go again, but my wife loved it and says she now wants us to pop round every week!
I just can’t stand the thought of being mauled by a group of fatties with no teeth again, thanks. I don’t want to spoil the wife’s fun. What should do?
Stevie says: TRY a different swingers’ club. They’re not all the same, I’m sure. If you want to better-looking f*** buddies, you may need to shop around.
DO YOU HAVE A SEX PROBLEM?
EMAIL: firstname.lastname@example.org OR MAIL TO: Agony, Sunday Sport, City View House, 5 Union Street, Ardwick, Manchester, M12 4JD