ADELE is a breath of fresh air isn’t she? Can you really see her giving a sh*t that Karl Lagerfeld called her ‘fat?’

She’s just picked up a shedload of Grammy and Brit awards and is the biggest selling artist of our time. She’s only a size 16 which is hardly obese and she’s bloody stunning. Who gives a f*ck if she doesn’t look like a catwalk model? I love Adele because she doesn’t care what people think of her. Not like all the boring stars like Cheryl Cole and Victoria Beckham who look like Twiglets and are styled to within an inch of their lives. Adele quite rightly says that she’s a pop star, not a model and she doesn’t want to be seen as sexy and skinny. People still buy her records because she’s bloody brilliant. I’d love to go on a night out with Adele. She’s a bit rough round the edges being a South London girl who lived above a bargain shop and now look at her. She’s having the last laugh. And I love that she’s taking a few years off to enjoy her success and her relationship with her new fella. When she comes back people will be hungry to hear her new stuff and she’ll blow us all away second time round again. Good for her. She’s like a breath of fresh air. THE Olympics coming to Britain should be great for this country. But no, as well as paying £24 billion to host the games, we’ve also got to pay £10 to sit in a London park to cheer on Brit stars like Jessica Ennis (pictured) on a big telly! Seriously, I couldn’t believe it when heard that. How can they charge you for sitting in a park? We just get shafted everywhere we turn in this country. I paid a massive tax bill back in January and when you do that it makes you look for where your taxes go. I don’t think I get much back for all the money I put in. And I’ve tried to get Olympic tickets and can’t get them for love nor money. I just wonder why we are bothering and why people who live in this country can’t go and see the games, even in a bloody park! It’s just shambolic that we’ve had to spend so much money on hosting this and we can’t even go and watch it. I’d love to tell David Cameron what I really think of this country. I also quite fancy having a good old rant about crap like this. Jeremy Paxman, if you’re reading, next time you need a glamour girl on the show – get me on! I’M looking forward to seeing what the new Sun on Sunday is like. The News of the World should have been shut down. They did many great campaigning stories, but also turned really nasty as well. There’s a thing with a lot of the press where all they want to do is s*** on people and knock them down. I hope the new Sun on Sunday isn’t going to be like this. It needs to be ruthless and ballsy and have naughty celebs s***ting their pants every Sunday morning. But it shouldn’t ruin the lives of ordinary people by honey-trapping them for no reason. No matter what the new paper is like though, there’ll still only be one read for me on Sunday and that’s Sunday Sport! THE story about the Swedish man trapped in his car for two months is amazing. Regular readers will know I was stuck in my car when it broke down in the snow and that was only for an hour and a half. It was a bloody nightmare and I can’t tell you how glad I was to see the AA turn up. So God knows how relieved this poor fella must have been when he was finally found after four months after surviving by eating snow. He’s lucky he didn’t freeze to death! THIS is a difficult subject for me to broach because I would never condone violence against women. But I can see why Natalie Cassidy is getting back with her man Adam Cotterill. What he did was unforgivable – but I can see why she is taking him back. Reading her talking about her decision at the weekend was heart-breaking, and I really feel for her. I think she’s a very brave girl to take him back, and because she’s spent her life in the public eye, it must have been hard for her to answer her critics. She says that Adam has a drink problem, that he’s accepted this and is now in Alcoholics Anonymous. Fair play to him for doing that. I’m a nightmare when I’m pissed. I’ll kick off with people and pick fights. But when I’m sober I’m a different person and I feel like a right nob. So although I can’t understand what it must be like to be addicted, I can see how people change with drink. Adam has told Natalie that drink is to blame for what happened and he’s promised her he’s learned and will never drink again. It must have been so hard for her to trust him enough to give him another chance, but she has and I think it’s only fair that we respect that. I really hope for her sake that he doesn’t let her down. She deserves to be happy. But if he does, she needs to kick him out for good. I’M very excited about my new timeshare! They used to be a bit crap in the 1980s – but the deal I’ve got is great. I’ve paid for a week every year for the next 20 years at the six star Marriot Hotel in Villamoura, Portugal. So when I’m in my 50s I’ll still be lording it round the harbour with all the footballers and WAGs. I reckon I’ll look as young then as I do now. And I’ll still be whipping out my boobs on the beach too! If that doesn’t boost tourism over there I don’t know what will.

Don’t fight…wife swap instead!

I’VE had lots of tweets from my fans about the scuffle between David Haye and Dereck Chisora and I can’t really make out what is going on. Apparently the pair hate each other and it wouldn’t have been staged at all. But it just looks a bit fishy to me. I mean they’re going in the ring to kick the s*** out of each other. Why can’t they just control themselves before? They look It looks a publicity That’s when I think the footballers have it right. Slapping each other about a bit like a pair of girls before a fight is a bit crap. Look at your footballers! They shag each other’s wives, sister-in-laws, nannies, PAs, beauticians – any hole’s a goal! Next time they have a big fight, maybe Haye and Chisora need to start tinkering around with each other’s partners. That’d get people talking about boxing. And make them give each other a proper kicking once they get in the ring as well so everyone’s a winner!





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