“I knew I was in love when he put it in my wrong ’un!”

RUDE reader stories and the Agony page are two of my favourite part of Sunday Sport. I like to think I am a bit of a minx when it comes to sex but you lot leave me at the starting line. And all of this talk about bums has got me thinking … hmmm…maybe it’s time I joined in the fun! What harm can it do me? Olivia XX

I knew I was in love when he put it in my wrong ’un!

By Kelly, 34, Darlington

I’ve always loved anal stimulation but I’m a newbie to proper anal sex.

Since I was a teenager I have loved to have my bum hole tampered with. I really like a finger in there when I ride a man and, as far as I’m concerned, cunnilingus is not worth having unless he does a couple of laps of my rusty bullet hole with his tongue. I have been dying to talk to someone about it and none of my girlfriends would ever dream of taking a cock in their arse. My current boyfriend is a hot Scottish fella a couple of years younger than me and he took my brown cherry back in July. The first time we did it he wore a condom and used loads of lube so he slid in really easily. It felt great and I was official hooked on “bumming”— as he called it.


The second time we did it was maybe two weeks later and without a condom. Either his cock had grown or my anus had shrunk, because entry was not nearly as easy. He used plenty of lube but he really had to strain to get past my sphincter. I think it’s because I was on my back with my legs over his shoulders. Once he was in thought: “Wow!” He gave me a real pummeling and it was f*cking lush! The feeling of his hot jizz shooting inside me was incredible I actually had a pretty intense orgasm. I am one of those women that doesn’t cum every time. Don’t get me wrong; I always enjoy sex, I just don’t always cum. I was still recovering from being done up the wrong ’un when he climbed onto me again and slipped it into my pussy. He went at me that way for a few minutes before flipping me over and easing it into my back passage. This time he did me slowly and easily. It was sublime and I actually wept with joy. I realised then that I was in love with this man. I always loved the feeling of a pussy full of cum, but an arse and pussy full of cum is the best. It makes me feel womanly, sexy, and slutty at the same time. Later, as I walked to the kitchen to get him another can I could feel my pussy lips and arse cheeks slip-sliding against each other from all the cum and lube. I love that feeling!

Online…on the horn

I HAVE this online friend and two or three times a week we chat before I slink off for a tommy tank imagining what it might be to f*ck her for real.

The other night she said she wanted me to see her on her webcam. We were looking at each other as we chatted and flirted. She asked me if I want to see her new skirt. She stood and showed it off then bent over to prove to me that she didn’t wear any drawers when she chatted to me.

If erections made a noise mine would have made the one you get when you stick a wooden ruler in a desk and twang it! Dooooiiinnngg! My cock was so hard because I was finally looking at the shaved p*ssy she always talked about.

She hiked up her skirt up and played with her shaved kitty as I started pulling on my cock. Then she whipped out a purple vibe, licked the end and slid it into herself. She told me she wanted my hard cock. I told her I wanted to f*ck her. We both came. I know she will be reading this and hopefully it will turn her on again and get her in the mood for when we get online tonight. Bill, 43, Exeter

Halloween Alice bonks in bathroom

I WAS in the supermarket at the weekend and all the Halloween stuff reminded me of a party I went to a couple of years ago.

I was dressed as Alice in Wonderland, and there was this guy dressed in the Scream costume. I had no idea of what this guy looked like (he had the full robe and mask) but I chatted away at him and was happily flirting away even though he wasn’t saying much back. He just stood there drinking his WKD through a straw.

Eventually, I casually said to him: “I bet you could make me scream.” See what I did? That hit the mark and he motioned for me to follow him. We went into a bathroom and locked the door and he started to take off his mask.

I told him to keep it on, keep his mouth shut and just f*ck me! I put my hands on either side of the sink and offered him my arse. He lifted my blue and white skirts and roughly pulled down my white tights and panties and thumbed his cock into me.


It was so erotic to be f*cked by someone wearing that costume. All I heard from him was his heavy breathing punctuated my little grunts.

I’ve never really fancied being the victim of a masked serial killer; it was just the idea of not knowing who the man was that turned me on. He could have been in a Tellytubby outfit and I would have still let him shag me.

Eventuallyhe speeded up and with a grunt, emptied his balls into me. He was clearly dressed as a gentleman killer bacause after he came he fingered my clit until I had my climax.

We tidied up and rejoined the party but a few minutes later I had to really go to the loo. When I returned there were FOUR Scream masks in the room.

I never did discover which one had squirted his muck up me. Holly, 28, Oxford

We want to hear YOUR rude fiction and we’ll pay £25 for EVERY one we publish. Just send them to us at dirtystories@sundaysport.co.uk





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